Thursday, March 17, 2011

trials and tribulations of a non breast feeder

Why are you asking me about my intentions for my breasts and my breast milk?

Strangers and acquaintances alike would ask what I planned to do with my breasts and the milk they would be producing. A pregnant belly is a universal symbol for no boundaries. When I gave an honest answer it led to a dissertation on the beauty and benefits of breastfeeding. I do not dispute the value and loveliness of breastfeeding. I simply did not make that choice.

The indigenous peoples  (see strangers in the grocery store) outrage at my selfish denial of my breast milk led me to want to lie. I concocted horror stories. I wanted to tell people I had disfigured breasts, no breasts, hepatitis, or HIV. You name it I had it and it was stopping me from the glorious act of breast feeding. It certainly wasn't my own  free will. It certainly couldn't have been a choice I would make if said stranger or acquaintance could just educate me.

I have had one instance since Ava's birth when I wished I had chosen breastfeeding. I was in a packed baby unfriendly restaurant. I wanted to torture my fellow diners by whipping out my bare breast and attaching my little savage right there. I wanted to use breastfeeding as a weapon. I think this is a solid argument against me breastfeeding not for.

I support my breastfeeding sisters. I know they are often judged harshly. Public breastfeeding is always a challenge. Breastfeeding itself can be torturous hard work. Please remember this the next time you judge a mother who chooses the bottle.


  1. I too have had to deal with the decision of not breast feeding and having to give an answer to anyone who felt it necessary to ask me what my personal decision was. I can relate to this.

  2. its hard to be put on the spot for personal decisions

  3. During my pregnancy, I had illusions of grandeur. I was going to be the perfect little pregnant girl with no excess weight. Ha, I gained 60 lbs. I was going to have a natural birth with no pain killers and wasn't even going to scream. Ha, I let the F-bomb fly (thankfully only once and in private) got an epidural at 3 cm, and delivered by emergency c-section 12 hrs later. I was going to have a perfect child who was always happy and smiling. Ha, my son cried for 4 hours or more every evening for his first 7 weeks of life. And I was going to breastfeed, because well, it was a lot less expensive than formula. Ha, my son made the "no breast feeding" decision for me before we even left the hospital. He's into fast food and breast feeding wasn't quick enough for him. He would suck down a bottle in record time...and in the evenings he would go through about 4 of those things in about 3 hours. There's no way I could have supplied anywhere near that much by myself.

  4. lol Jennifer ! I tried natural and had an epidural by three centimeters and a c section (I was totally unprepared for as well). Life does what it wants and so do babies. Thanks for stopping by my humble blog.

  5. ...oh yeah and the I'm not gonna gain too much weight fantasy...pfffffffffffft i got fat and had edema I was a good year blimp