Date Night

The time is somewhere around noon.  It's Saturday. Grandma has phoned and made promises of coming over. Daddy and I are finally going to leave the house together without the baby. The baby is approximately 4 months old.

I'm so excited I immediately start trying to find an outfit I can look half way decent in, that is not my stretched out maternity clothes. The time is around 3pm. I stuff myself in a "shaper"  (see evil undergarment). I then stuff myself into normal pants. Yes I'm still fat at 4 months after baby. This isn't Hollywood.  I put on make up.

The time is 5ish pm. Daddy looks nice. We are getting really hungry. The shaper is eating me alive.

The time is now somewhere around 8pm. It's baby bedtime. I'm putting her to sleep when grandma arrives.
Baby is really tired and gorges herself on milk. I put her to bed. Grandma informs us she only has about an hour to hang out. We choose the closest restaurant we can think of. Who cares we just want to eat a meal together. We just want to eat.


We speed to the restaurant and make quick work of the menu. We order drinks! (cue the harmonious sounds of angels singing).

Daddy's cell phone rings.

"come home the baby won't stop crying, and she projectile vomited!"

"did you try any of the things we told you to try to get her to stop crying?"

"no..."

We leave. I yell to the waitress that I am sorry we have to leave. I can see the bartender pouring our drinks.